In one of my previous posts, I explored the ways we unintentionally get in our own way of career success and shared some nudges to move from self-sabotage to intentional progress. Self-leadership is a great first step to career progression, the second step is building your support crew.
I’ve been fortunate enough to have some incredible mentors and leaders in my career. What made them incredible wasn’t their advocacy alone, it was the questions they asked, the observations they shared, and the mirror they held to help me see my blind spots. Most of all, they held me accountable to the things I said I’d do to grow and provided opportunities to step into the uncomfortable, not because I wanted to, but because they knew I needed to.
This article is about how to find (or build) your support system.
Why you need a support crew
Growth doesn’t happen in isolation and having someone (or multiple people) in your corner creates:
- Perspective: You can’t see your blind spots alone. Perspective helps you challenge assumptions, reframe challenges, and spot opportunities you might overlook.
- Accountability: Knowing someone’s watching your progress keeps you committed and turns good intentions into consistent action.
- Confidence: Trusted feedback reminds you of your capability when doubt creeps in.
What to look for
Who you seek support from is important, as is being clear about what kind of support you need. Is it accountability, perspective, encouragement, skill development, challenge, or perhaps a combination? Look for someone who:
- Aligns with your values and will help you grow in a way that feels authentic.
- Listens with empathy but won’t let you off the hook when things feel hard.
- Helps you think and arrive at answers with clarity, not think for you.
- Has relevant lived experience to what you’re working towards.
Title is not important. Leaders often make fantastic coaches, but don’t narrow your pool to only those in leadership roles. Great support can also come from peers, former colleagues, even people a step behind you in their career who offer great perspective!
If it’s available, you can leverage internal mentorship programs within your organisation. Often people in your business will register as a mentor, opening their diaries to those seeking support.
Once you have someone in mind, it’s time to invite their help.
How to ask for support
If you’re used to going at things solo, or perhaps haven’t invited someone’s help before, this step might feel awkward. Be genuine when reaching out, and let the person know you value their perspective and why you’d like their support. Here are some examples you can use:
- Hi [Name], I’ve been reflecting on my professional growth, and I really value the way you [insert specific quality]. I’m working on [briefly share your goal or challenge], and I’d love to learn from your perspective. Would you be open to a chat over coffee or a quick call sometime soon? I’d appreciate even 30 minutes of your insight.
- Hey [Name], I’ve been pushing myself to take some next steps, and I realised I’d love to have someone in my corner who can bounce things around with me. You came to mind straight away because of your experience in [insert specific details]. Would you be up for a chat as I work through [briefly name goal/project]? I’d love to return the favour too.
- Hi [Name], I’ve been thinking about investing in some support to help me navigate [insert context], and your approach really resonates with me. I’m keen to explore if we’d be a good fit to work together more formally. Would you be open to a short conversation to see if it’s the right match for both of us?
Communities of practice
Support doesn’t have to come from one person. Communities of practice or learning circles offer a powerful way to grow alongside others who are on a similar path. These groups create space for shared learning, honest conversations, and peer coaching without hierarchy. Whether formed inside your organisation or gathered through external networks, a learning circle offers perspective, accountability, and collective wisdom which is often what you need to stay motivated and on track. If you can’t find a group to join, build one.
You can start a group yourself (through your internal channels or externally) by inviting others to weigh in on areas you feel you need to develop. These sessions could happen virtually or over coffee once a month and are most effective when structured formally (e.g. a blocker or problem is tabled, and each participant can share their approach or ask questions of others). Tips for a productive session:
- Keep the group size small, no more than 8 people. This allows for diversity of thought and time for discussion.
- Create consistency by scheduling regular catch-ups (also helps build momentum and trust).
- Make it mutual by inviting those participating to share their blockers or development goals with the group.
Getting the most out of a relationship with a coach or mentor
It takes courage to ask for help or to seek out people who stretch you, especially when you’re stepping into something new. It’s important to show openness and vulnerability because growth doesn’t come from staying comfortable. You must be willing to explore blind spots, challenge assumptions, and experiment with new ways of thinking or behaving. The more honest you are about what’s getting in your way, the more value you’ll receive. A strong coach or mentor won’t give you all the answers, but they will hold space, ask the right questions, and walk with you as you work through them. Like any good relationship, it’s built on trust, shared commitment, and a willingness to be real.
Find people who remind you of who you are when you forget. People who challenge you to think bigger, act braver, and stay grounded in what matters.
A note from Danielle, Founder of Bright Edge
– High performance doesn’t just happen, it’s the result of consistent practice, systems, values and mindset. You perform at the level of your preparation, not just your intention.